The Suedom Examples
by The Copycat Ninja
Summary: 'Sparklestar is the most beautiful leader ever! She has a personality like the sweetest dove and is so strong-' No, no. You're doing it wrong.
1. All Hail Random Deputies

"Oh my StarClan!"

Robinfur's panicked cries came to the ears of all the SunClan cats, and, groaning, they sat up to greet their deputy who was rushing into the camp. Panting, the long-furred lilac tabby tom skidded into the camp, his grass-green eyes wide, with his best friends Seaear, Nettlestorm and Quailpaw right behind him as usual.

"Yes, Robinfur?" questioned his beautiful, long-suffering mate.

"Well, I was just out minding my own business when suddenly out of nowhere a really fierce twoleg appeared! Of course, I can't harm another living being because it's against my morals, but these really nice SkyClan cats appeared and defeated the twoleg for no reason, and then disappeared! But guess what happened then! My enemy-Splashpaw of BloodClan, you know-came up to me with his littermate Robinpaw! And did you guys ever think it was weird that my late mother's-may she be walking with StarClan now, rest her soul-enemy, Earthfur, named one of her kits after me? That's always freaked me out! I must be so good-looking that she-cats are stalking me! Must be something to do with my large and muscular build, but anyway," Robinfur took a breath before continuing.

"So, they randomly came up to me and hissed, telling me to get out of their territory, and I obviously hadn't known that I was in their territory! But, being the awesome deputy I am, they let me go without taking me to their leader or anything, which is the opposite of what those nasty BloodClan cats usually do! Is anyone else panicking now?" Robinfur finished with a gasp, his eyes changing colour from green to blue, to violet to orange and back to green again due to his fear; the trio of cats respectfully sitting behind him nodded vigorously, their eyes blank.

Mudgaze sighed, and nuzzled her mate half-heartedly, "It's just because you're totally cool, and strong that everyone admires you and doesn't want to hurt you, love," she mewed, a monotonous tone underlying suggesting that she had memorised the sentence.

Robinfur visibly deflated with another small gasp; new-found happiness sparkled in his amazing green eyes, "You're so right, my beautiful mate, and I'm so glad I choose you because since one of your long-ago ancestors was Brightheart, you have a scar down the side of your face," he replied, rasping his tongue over her lilac tortoiseshell ear.

The Clan, who had sat un-moving and silent during Robinfur's speech, began to move again, picking up their lives. However...Splashpaw, Robinpaw, and Zebrapelt sprinted into the SunClan camp!

"Please, give us some prey! BloodClan is weak!" pleaded Splashpaw.

"Well, seeing as our leader apparently isn't here, and I'm the deputy, I'll be making the decisions! Of course you may! Take whatever prey you need, because SunClan is compassionate towards our enemies, and we are exceedingly kind!" Robinfur answered, his long tail flicking from side to side.

Splashpaw nodded slightly, and he, Robinpaw and Zebrapelt stuffed their mouths full of the fresh-kill. Soon enough, the SunClan fresh-kill pile had disappeared. Several apprentices swooned as they gazed in admiration at Splashpaw.

Before the BloodClan cats had left, Splashpaw turned his head, and let out a _mrrow _of amusement, "We just took all your prey to feed BloodClan-who, by the way, have prey-rich territory-and for Robinpaw and me to pass our assessments! Because we're not noobs like you guys, we just stole all your prey without you suspecting anything, even though it was obvious that we're well-fed!"

And with that, they vanished, leaving Robinfur with a grief-stricken expression, despite the fact that all the SunClan cats were telling him that it was fine, and he made a good decision; he showed how nice he truly was...

**Author's Note- So that was the first chapter, which showed our first group of Sues and Stus. We'll focus on Robinfur. What are the main things that make him seem perfect, and how can we fix him?**

**First of all, the fact that his name is Robinfur and he's a lilac tabby tom. Now, although lilac tabbies exist, they are not an actual lilac colour. Another thing is that they would not be out in the wild. So let's fix his name and appearance.**

**Robinfur-birds do not have fur. If we are keeping the prefix –Robin, we will change the suffix to –feather. Robinfeather makes a lot more sense. For his appearance, considering the colours of a robin, I think he should be a brown tabby cat with maybe patches of white and yellow eyes. Does that make sense to you? Personally, I think it does.**

**Now a brief look on his personality. He is nice and kind, but worries about everything, and his mother's enemy named her daughter after him. He is also the Clan deputy, and the leader doesn't seem to be there at all, leading to him making all the important Clan decisions. This just screams Stu! **

**So let's say he is an older tom, maybe about to be going into the elder's den, and he doesn't worry about everything but is anxious about the main things. He can be nice to his Clanmates, but is very snappy towards younger cats. He has never been a deputy or leader, and is perfectly happy with his position. He is weak when it comes to fighting, and average at hunting.**

**Judging from that, I hope you can see what was wrong with the other cats' names and personalities. And with the writing, you could see that it was bland, with little description or information, which you should include. So that's all; hope you all enjoyed it.**


	2. Jayfeather's Random Mates

**Author's Note – This time I won't point out the mistakes. They're very obvious! Have fun reading and finding them!**

Jayfeather nuzzled his secret mate. She was as beautiful as any star, and was carrying his kits!

"Oh, my dear Mysteryheart. You make my life complete!" the tom exclaimed, licking one of Mysteryheart's beautiful ears; it was the colours of the sunset!

"As you do to mine, dear Jay Jay," Mysteryheart replied, with a purr that could belong to the sweetest kitten.

Suddenly a group of ShadowClan cats magically appeared at wherever they were!

"You are not allowed here! You guys are so stupid! He's blind and you were a kittypet!" Frostedsoul squeaked, her ugly blue eyes widened with rage.

"Rawr!" Jayfeather roared!

They fought.

"Oh, well done my marvellous mate!" Mysteryheart congratulated Jayfeather for somehow killing the random ShadowClanners, "ShadowClanners are so evil!"

"Of course they are, my little flower!" Jayfeather answered. "No worries though, I shall always be there to protect you!"

Mysteryheart purred. They shared tongues.

**LOL RANDOM TIME-SKIP GUISE**

"Aren't they just bootiful!" Mysteryheart squealed, wrapping her tail around her ten kits!

Jayfeather nodded and smiled widely! Mysteryheart had invited him over to the RiverClan camp, because, liek, obviously the leader totes wouldn't give a damn that the medicine cat had kits with the ThunderClan medicine cat!

"Mew!" one kit mewed, and it was as if the other kits didn't exist!

"We should call her Jaysterykit, as a mix of our names!" Mysteryheart meowed.

"Yes!"

Jaysterykit was a berry pretty kitten! She had thick-but not poofy!-soft grey fur, with tiny, perfectly rounded sunset coloured paws, KAWAII lavender eyes and a golden coloured muzzle. She was perfection!

Suddenly, an evil cat came down from space and Jayfeather fainted! Mysteryheart was very brave, so she growled and barked like a dog and roared like a lion! The evil kitteh was so scared that he flew away but not before killing all of Jaysterykit's siblings!

Mysteryheart cried.

**HAHA, ANOTHER RANDOM TIME-SKIP DUDEZ**

"Jaysterykawaiisparkle, do you accept position as the new leader of the newly named JaysteryClan so that I can retire?" questioned Plainstar.

Jaysterykawaiisparkle smiled, with tears of joy. Everyone around her was very happy. So was Jaysterykawaiisparkle. She had the perfect mate called Firestar, six bundles of joy, and her parents were still alive. Her six kittens all looked like her father apart from one berry specul kit. That kit was called Joykit. She looked like a magnificent flame in the sunlight just like Firestar, but her paws were sunset coloured and her muzzle was made of solid gold. Her eyes changed colour; bright blue for happy, lavender for excited, green for calm and OMG RED for angry! But Joykit nevar got angry so lol nevah mind.

"I do!" Jaysterykawaiisparkle exclaimed and all the cats cheered for Jaysterykawaiisparklestar.

And they lived happily ever after!

THE END.


	3. Tea, Unicorns and Random Kittypets

**Author's Note – Thanks so much to everyone; your reviews mean a lot! :3 This chapter is dedicated to Talons That Fly Upon Rainbows – happy birthday! Thanks to Velvet Masquerade!**

Sugarplum was a lovely cat. She had creamy fur as soft as clouds, with sparkling jade green eyes. Her mew was gentle, and she was extremely helpful – she had a perfect life!

One day Sugarplum happened upon a random forest.

"OMG, I wonder watz in there!" Sugarplum exclaimed, sparkles falling off her fur like pixie dust!

A tom suddenly appeared behind her. He had EBUL!1! red eyes!

"Sugarplum, you iz nao cursed from this life. You are not accepted here!" he yelled!

Sugarplum gasped. What on earth was he saying? She was friends with everyone from the car – that was a limousine, she knew – to every single artificial blade of grass!

The dainty she-cat was very sad. Tears of crystal fell down her perfectly shaped face, yet for some reason she did not question the stranger's words. Instead, she went into her owner's house, wriggled into a feline shaped pale blue summer dress, inserted her four paws into blue high heels, tied a satin ribbon around one pointed ear, and dabbed on some make-up – after all, she needed to look stunning!

Padding out of the house, a little handbag clutched between her teeth, Sugarplum wandered into the mysterious forest! After five minutes she stopped, exhausted.

"Oh dear. I am very much tired." She stated in a flat tone, a crystal glistening at her eye.

"Liek, totes omg, what's that?!" a voice exclaimed!

A muscular tom came up to her; he had white fur, keen yellow eyes and massive black paws. Sugarplum fainted at the sight of this hottie!

**Insert a 'witty' comment or a string of x's here**

When Sugarplum woke up, she was lying on the ground within a clearing. There were four cats looking down on her; the drop dead gorgeous tom was there, as was another crazily hot ginger cat, along with a scrawny tom and a single she-cat who smelled of fish; and not lovely salmon, either.

"Herro!" mewed the ginger cat, smiling widely.

"Firestar, you should be speaking to me about our nonexistent forbidden relationship!" the leopard type cat huffed; clearly she was a family breaker and attention seeker, and Sugarplum decided that she did not like her!

"Oh, oh my goodness, where are my manners?" the scrawny tom sighed. "I am Onestar, the ginger rat is Firestar, that hot whor-charming she-cat is Leopardstar, and that tom you are clearly wanting to fu-mate with is Blackstar."

Sugarplum nodded, and then with a magical sounding pop, information sprang up in her mind!

"And you guyz, liek, run four Clans, amirite? Lol. ThunderClan with the attention seekers, ShadowClan with the typically sexeh but EBUL! cats, RiverClan with the hot whor-erm, charming felines as Onestar put it and WindClan with the scrawny cats who have no life."

"Eh, just about." Onestar yawned.

"Cool story bros, but I think we need to get to the real issue here. Do you, random kittypet dressed up in StarClan's knows what, want to join one of the four Clans?" Blackstar questioned, his fur almost shining in the moonlight.

Sugarplum thought for a bit before nodding her head frantically, "Oh, I do! I would so love to!"

"'Kay. Wanna come with us? We have loads of frickin' kittypets, loners and rouges who turned up from who knows where." Firestar asked the lovable kittypet.

"Oh, I don't know! Can I create a new Clan? It can be called Sugarplum-Rules-And-Everyone-Else-SucksClan!" the marvellous and oh so intelligent feline giggled.

There was a lot of cheering from the four true Clans down before, and the leaders shrugged and nodded.

"Yay! Now we must have a celebration picnic!" Sugarplum squealed like the annoying brat she is!

"What is a picnic, m'lady?" Onestar questioned, careful to keep a different term for her out of his speech-it begins with a 'b', you know it!

"Well..." her mew trailed off as she set her handbag down – all the cats looked on, curious.

Sighing, Sugarplum mumbled something about primitive felines, before tugging a whole lot of checked picnic blankets from her seemingly small handbag, along with fresh food and warm kettles full of tea. The Clan cats gasped.

"How terribly remarkable!" Blackstar exclaimed.

Sugarplum merely smiled humbly, as a pink unicorn swooped down and began yelling at the top of its voice, "Hai, sugah! Wanna catch me after hours?"

"Sure, Prince!" Sugarplum smirked.

After showing the Clan cats how to behave like proper ladies and gentlemen, everyone was happy. And one could find them sitting cross legged on the checked picnic blankets, sipping tea delicately from china cups, and nibbling slices of sponge cake from plates made of solid platinum.

"Sugarplum is wonderful!" the Clans screeched.

The end.


End file.
